even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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