Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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