3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Why are your pants in the freezer?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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