great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
