um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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