Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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