Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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