How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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