He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
