Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
