I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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