He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
