Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
