So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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