Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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