ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
