my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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