My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
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You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize