Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?