Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
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The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
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So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?