I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize