I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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