So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
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Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
The ass gains better be worth it
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