ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
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