I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
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I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
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I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary