I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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