i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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