Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize