What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
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That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
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there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him