im drinking this country out of the recession.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.