everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This beer is not sobering me up at all
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.