I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...