Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her

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  (603): not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her http://tfl.nu/t8zc
  Replies (90) Good night (2380) Bad night (22890) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.

  (1-831): View more from California

  Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable

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  (831): I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines. (1-831): Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable http://tfl.nu/f2l0
  Replies (15) Good night (3252) Bad night (521)
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  (310): View more from California

  Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.

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  (310): Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker. http://tfl.nu/ijgw
  Replies (14) Good night (3873) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"

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  (862): you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen" http://tfl.nu/7vz2
  Replies (14) Good night (5618) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.

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  (616): somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult. http://tfl.nu/q2ig
  Replies (25) Good night (3655) Bad night (2391) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.

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  (407): I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level. http://tfl.nu/6nqz
  Replies (27) Good night (1314) Bad night (8714) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.

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  (206): obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol. http://tfl.nu/y9qf
  Replies (6) Good night (2948) Bad night (741) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.

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  (919): we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni. http://tfl.nu/1ccz
  Replies (3) Good night (3472) Bad night (1337) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?

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  (518): i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone? http://tfl.nu/iu7h
  Replies (11) Good night (1218) Bad night (2447) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.

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  (815): we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod. http://tfl.nu/j49l
  Replies (7) Good night (2906) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.

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  (530): I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother. http://tfl.nu/6hsn
  Replies (9) Good night (2416) Bad night (976) Order T-Shirt
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  (+33): View more from France

  He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands

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  (+33): He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands http://tfl.nu/mwrj
  Replies (3) Good night (981) Bad night (314) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.

  (432): View more from Texas

  You're so wise.

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  (760): Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants. (432): You're so wise. http://tfl.nu/48zw
  Replies (3) Good night (695) Bad night (237)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.

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  (603): I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals. http://tfl.nu/uk0n
  Replies (4) Good night (391) Bad night (1193) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh

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  (804): I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh http://tfl.nu/vuef
  Replies (0) Good night (337) Bad night (147) Order T-Shirt

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