u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.