i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
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