Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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