hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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