Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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