My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Boobs are out for the taking