We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
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He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
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Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.