i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.