:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
