either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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