Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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