the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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