why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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