I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
