It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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