Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
