Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
