You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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