It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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