so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize