Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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