he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
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I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
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I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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