WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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