I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
