My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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